The Duchess of York, 59, explained that she blamed the breakdown of her “really difficult” marriage on herself after she and Andrew split in 1992.
She said that the painful end played on her feelings of abandonment which had festered ever since her mother walked out on her and her father when she was 12.
Speaking of her divorce to US series ‘Modern Hero’, she said: “It was rock bottom.
"I had completely and utterly destroyed myself.
"I murdered myself.
“I must have brought that on for myself mustn’t have I?
"Because that’s how I felt about myself.
"Self-hatred at its height.
“I think it just played into my abandonment.
"We both agreed that we didn’t fight hard enough to keep it together.”
The Duchess divorced Andrew in 1996 after ten years of marriage.
But the pair remain on good terms and even still live together at the Royal Lodge, Windsor.
In the interview, Fergie gushed: “He’s a total gentleman, he’s one of the kindest people ever.
“Certainly the best thing I’ve ever done is marry him in 1986.
"My love for Andrew conquered everything.
"My children and the family (helped me) because they know me.
“Now our life together is the greatest ever.
"It’s so hard to comprehend because we’re not normal.
"This is our fairytale and we are telling it our way.
“I take the joy of life very earnestly.
"I am sincerely steadfast to joy.
"And I realise, it’s all about forgiveness.”
Fergie also discussed her daughters, Princess Beatrice, 30, and Princess Eugenie, 28.
She revealed she has been “the mother she always wanted”.
The Duchess added: “Beatrice calls me the most misunderstood woman in the world.
"She is just the finest example of understanding and learning about how to deal with life challenges.
“Eugenie, she dares to be different.
"She dares to dream, dares to explore new ideas and new ventures.”
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