Remainers warn of kebab shortages and incurable VD after a No Deal Brexit but it's all lies – they just want to stop Brexit

You can tell what side the House of Commons is on, can’t you?

The one thing slipping away from our grasp is “No Deal”. They won’t let it happen. The Commons would vote against that by a majority of two to one.

And yet that is what we meant when we voted Leave. For months now the Remainer politicians and the BBC have been telling us about all sorts of disasters that will befall us if we leave with no deal.

The Beeb even managed to dig up a kebab shop owner in Gloucester who reckons people aren’t buying his kebabs because they fear a No Deal Brexit.

Yeah, I can just imagine. You’re walking along and think: “Oooh, I really fancy a nice doner kebab. Bit of chilli sauce and a crisp salad. But hang on a minute, what about Brexit? Oh well, better have a cheeseburger instead, then.” I mean, WTF?

We’ve been told we’ll all have incurable venereal disease if we leave the EU with no deal. Nope, not kidding. That report came from the Evening Standard. There will be no Mars bars. Planes will fail to take off. Perhaps they will drop out of the sky too because the laws of physics will no longer work.

Every time a business announces it will move elsewhere, the BBC tells us that Brexit is the cause.

Look, we know how you voted. But this is for your own good, you ghastly little people. You don’t want to die of venereal disease while being stung by a killer bee and without even a kebab for comfort, do you?

Despite the fact that in the case of our car manufacturers, for example, and Dyson, Brexit has nothing whatsoever to do with their decisions to relocate.

And it’s this constant stream of laughable propaganda that has got nutters stocking up on dried food at the local supermarkets. Worried that we’ll all starve after March 29.

Listen, I have few doubts that there might be one or two inconveniences in the first month or so after we leave with No Deal.

But to listen to the Chicken Lickens from Remain you’d imagine that not only was the sky going to fall in, but plagues of killer bees would be unleashed on us all.

This has been the softening up exercise to beat them all.

The message has been: Hammer the dumb b****rds over the head with the most fantastic b****cks imaginable.
And then we can step in and say — look, we know how you voted. But this is for your OWN good, you ghastly little people. You don’t want to die of venereal disease while being stung by a killer bee and without even a kebab for comfort, do you?

We’ll sort it out for you — or maybe, here’s an idea, you’d like to have another go at voting? Because you kinda got it wrong last time.

It’s a plan which looks very much like it’s going to work. From where I’m sitting, I don’t see us leaving the EU properly, if at all. And where, then, does that leave the people’s trust in democracy?

Let's be proud

The UK is one of the least racist countries on the planet, according to a new study.

What’s more, there has been no noticeable rise in racism since we voted to leave the European Union.

You wouldn’t think this if you watched the BBC or read the liberal newspapers. Or listened to an embittered remain voter going on about how we’re all horrible xenophobes.

Truth is, this is an incredibly tolerant country with virtually no animosity directed at immigrants.

Which is one of the reasons, I suppose, why they all want to come here.

Meanwhile, the Indians and Pakistanis are having a go at each other again.

Shooting down each other’s jets over the disputed Kashmir region.

There’s always a danger, with those two, that it will spill into a major conflict. The countries have a few hundred nukes between them.

India an Pakistan are at it again and they both have nukes but lets hope we leave the EU before they drop themIndia’s first successful nuclear bomb test was codenamed the “Smiling Buddha”, which I think is a lovely name.

It would be awful if the world came to an end before we left the EU, wouldn’t it?

Labour is party of hate

No sooner had seven MPs left the Labour Party because of its anti-Semitism than one keen Corbyn-supporting MP said they may have been funded by Israeli money.

Then Labour objected to the Jew-hating genocidal terrorists Hezbollah being named an . . . uh . . . terrorist group.

A day later a senior Corbyn ally said that his party had “backed off” too much over anti-Semitism.

Everywhere you look within that foul party, hatred of Jewish people is present.

And they are still in a state of denial about it.

The snowflakes are afraid of the nice weather exemplified in a recent Guardian articleThe sunshine this week really lifted my spirits.

Out walking with the dog, everybody I passed had a smile on their face.

But that’s probably because I wasn’t out walking anywhere near The Guardian’s offices. “Am I The Only One Who’s Terrified By The Warm Weather?” was one of the headline this week.

They can even find misery and injustice in a nice winter’s day. And the answer to the question?

You’re terrified of the warm weather – because you’re a snowflake.

No pity for IS medic

Another one wants to come back. This time it’s a pharmacist, a bloke called Mohammed Anwar Miah.
He left Britain illegally to work as a medic for the Islamic State.

His argument is that he should be allowed back because instead of chopping heads off he was handing out Nurofen.

Nope, Mo. You made your bed, you lie in it.

You’ve let it be known that your sympathies are with the most savage, repulsive, primitive terrorists ever to walk this earth. You illegally aid their cause. Why should we have you back here?

Stacey trip up

Poor old Stacey Dooley has been out to Uganda doing the old slebs-go-to-Africa routine. Posing with a cute little boy. Watching very large women dancing, etc. All slebs have to do this, I think.

It’s written in their contracts.

But Stacey has fallen foul of a group called “No White Saviours”.

They hate it when whitey comes visiting because it suggests their countries are uniformly useless and they can’t look after themselves.

Anyway, Stacey refused to meet the group and now they are haranguing her and other white slebs.
One group of chippy dimbos in pursuit of another.

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