“I think that’s the hardest part,” she said. “When you just, you move out and you shut that door and you give someone your keys. It shuts the door to your heart, to that love and to the memories.”
The door seems to be finally shut on Nikki Bella and John Cena‘s relationship.
As the Season 4 premiere of "Total Bellas" aired on Sunday night viewers learned not only has Nikki now moved out of both of Cena’s homes — in San Diego and Florida — her ex is also apparently no longer allowing cameras in his homes even as she filmed her final moving out process.
Last season milked every drip and drop of their "rollercoaster" year for onscreen drama, and to now have cameras seemingly banned from pivotal moments in Nikki’s life certainly seemed to spell out things have definitely changed.
On Sunday’s episode, the WWE star broke down multiple times while discussing her and Cena’s rough split, but it was moving out of the Tampa Bay home that she shared with Cena for years that seemed to hit her the hardest.
"My breakup’s been a very difficult thing," Nikki said. "I don’t want to compare it to death or divorce, but you’re pretty much saying goodbye to something forever."
"[Cena] was my rock," she added. "He was the one who always lifted me up and it has kicked my ass and it like kicked me straight in the face realizing that like, ‘Whoa I just let go of my number one supporter.’"
If you recall, last season of "Total Bellas" documented everything from the exciting wedding planning to the ultimate heartbreaking ending to Nikki and Cena’s six-year romance. One of Nikki’s first steps to moving on from her relationship was to obviously move out the homes she shared with her ex.
The season premiere documented Nikki’s difficult task of breaking up with her Tampa Bay home where she had lived with Cena. Although her things were already packed up, Nikki voiced to her family that she was anxious and sad about having to say goodbye to the home.
"This is tough," Nikki said, holding back tears as she approached the house. "It’s sad. It makes me said."
But before we actually got to see her entering the home, Nikki said: "I’m going to have to turn these off you guys because there’s no cameras allowed."
While we didn’t get to see the reality star physically move out of the house, it seemed to put Nikki through the ringer, as Nikki again tried to hold back her tears while talking about the heartbreaking act of "closure."
"I think that’s the hardest part," she said. "When you just, you move out and you shut that door and you give someone your keys. It shuts the door to your heart, to that love and to the memories."
"No new memories will be made, which is so hard to think about," she continued. "It’s tough because I just try to be so strong all the time and I think the whole moving out process has been toughest for me."
Nikki pointed out in the episode that after a year of "not being in a good place," she was ready to move on and "be a happy person again." For Nikki, this meant leaving her home in San Diego too and moving to Los Angeles. Her sister, Brie Bella wasn’t too happy with her twin’s decision. This turned into a full-blown fight between WWE sister duo, as Brie thought that Nikki was just "running away" from her problems.
Although Nikki admitted she was "more sad in San Diego" because her and Cena also shared a home there, she wanted to move to the City of Angels for a fresh start for herself. Fortunately, after Nikki found a house, Brie finally came around.
"I feel like that L.A. move was the first time that I put me first," she said. "I didn’t care what anyone thought. And I did it for me because I know I need it. I just need something so brand new, scary and fresh."
"Total Bellas" airs Sunday nights at 9 p.m. ET on E!
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