Love Island 2019: Anna gets mouthy, Ovie's over it, and Michael's up to his old tricks…

“CUhRtIS, wILL yA tEAch ME ta-dAnCe, DeN???”

Words Amy claims to have uttered more than once (“every day for two weeks”), yet it only took Maura one request to land the dance lesson she’s been gunning for wholeheartedly – for all of, like, two days. Amy was not amused. Marvin wasn’t best pleased, either…

Marvin. The guy from Casa Amor who listened to Maura, asked about her family, AND looked b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ nice in a cap?? Remember him? No worries if not, he’s probably not going to be around for much longer.

Having enjoyed her few steps with the newly single Curtis, Lucie and Maura decided in tandem that their couplings with George and Marvin weren’t exactly setting anything alight. If one could distil Marvin’s marginally better bants ability into George’s jaw, you may have something but, alas, their powers entwined isn’t possible – yet that didn’t stop Lucie and Maura engaging in a dual dumping.

At the fire pit, Lucie said to George and Marvin, “Me and Maura feel the same, we’re just not really feeling it.”

Of course, it was Marvin who responded first, and it wasn’t pretty, with him saying: “I hear you but that is bulls**t. I’ve tried to overlook how you [Maura] have been cold… I came into this with you 50/50. It’s not like I’m punching above my weight, I don’t owe you anything.”

Needless to say, Maura was having NONE of it, replying: “I never said you did! Don’t put words in my mouth, Marvin!”

Spurred into action, it wasn’t long before Maura professed her feelings to Curtis, who is now channelling the Cheshire Cat. The thought of £50K will do that to you.


In actuality, he said “Jordan, go get your missus, bro! I’m tired, you can have her.”

Things went south after a conversation between him and the pharmacist became, well, snippy. Persistent cheeky, chappy Jordan – who has been nothing but malleable – would never make Anna face her flaws. Jordan has just been relentlessly chirpy throughout his public humiliation.

Ovie’s been pretty understanding too, considering Anna was entirely devoted to him, before flip-flopping since returning from Casa Amor. He’s been OK with her having intense chats with Jordan, going on a date with Jordan (while he was sat at the next table), and walking back on said date arm in arm with Jordan, while Ovie (the guy she’s actually coupled up with) was RIGHT beside them.

While I do appreciate Anna, I’m not so keen on how she feels she can have her cake and scoff it whole. In short, she started giving Ovie grief for essentially answering Amber’s question about who else he’d have his eye on, hypothetically speaking (Joanna).

While it was near impossible to grasp a linear conversation during Anna and Ovie’s snippy tete-a-tete it clearly ended with Ovie stating; “The conversation is done.”

Two minutes later, Anna and Jordan were smacking lips.

The following day, Anna informed Ovie that she was ending things (despite him ending things the night prior), and when he called her out on the constant interrupting, and whether it stemmed from possible feelings of guilt or insecurity, we were treated to a repeat performance.


What is the firefighter’s obsession with Amber “winning”?

Joanna pulled him aside for a chat (because that’s all they have for sport) and put it out there – “Do you still have feelings for her?” To which he emphatically responded “No… I don’t even speak to the girl… Amber’s just twisting words to work to her advantage… This is literally her winning.”

Not content with Michael’s protestations, Jordan pulled a Yewande and asked both Michael and Amber for a chat to see who’s lying. To clarify, Michael told Joanna he categorically told Amber he was done with her.

However, what we viewers saw was Michael and Amber having their now-fabled talk, which involved lots of giggling about Joanna not being able to make him laugh…


• Kudos to Craig David for having a herd of 20-somethings knowing who he is… especially Anton *SCREEEAAAMMS* And he chose to work the only night he takes off to chill. Commitment.

• 1, 2 and chaw, chaw, chaw, New York 2 step, reverse pivot and twist, chaw, chaw, chaw…

• Lucie disecting her impending split with George; “What if I tell him and he forgets and still thinks he’s going out with me?!” Too true.



Somebody’s getting their marching orders.

Viewers *ahem in the UK* are currently voting for their favourite couple to stay in The Villa. Jordan and Amber are safe as they’re technically single, but everyone else is up for grabs, or – as the lawyers have put it – at risk of being sent home. My money is on Lucie and George or Danny and Jourdan.

Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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