Blake Horstmann is taking ownership over the rollercoaster of love he rode on this season of Bachelor in Paradise.
“To say paradise was rough for me is an understatement,” he admitted in an Instagram post Monday night. “I have no one to blame but myself for that.”
“It’s not easy putting yourself and all of your mistakes out there for the world to see,” the reality star, 30, continued. “No matter the differences all of us had on that beach, I will always have respect for each and every one of you, being brave enough to be yourselves and chase the love we all feel we deserve. Never forget that we are all human and not characters on television. I want to thank those of you that have sent me kind words and encouraging messages. Those have helped more than you will ever know.”
“I hope that this is not the end of my story and I can look back at this summer and be grateful for the lessons learned and the friends made,” he concluded — but the hashtags he added suggest that he’s not done looking for love in some old familiar places. “I’m still going to Stagecoach,” he said with one hashtag.
Stagecoach, of course, being the birthplace of his love triangle between Caelynn Miller-Keyes and Kristina Schulman after he hooked up with each of them on back-to-back nights.
The turbulence from the show has continued playing out after filming ended, as Horstmann felt he was pushed to release text messages between himself and Miller-Keyes.
Some of Horstmann’s fellow Bachelor Nation alums commented on the post, offering words of support.
“Always Love For You Blake!” commented Derek Peth.
“You live & you learn. On to the next chapter ♥️” added Astrid Loch.
In Monday night’s episode, Horstmann ultimately decided to leave Paradise after his date with Kristina took an unexpected turn.
“I have allowed myself to think about Kristina as being the mother of my children and as being my wife,” Horstmann said in a confessional during the episode. “There’s something undeniable between us. We can’t deny each other anymore. We can’t deny the feelings that we have.”
But after “taking matters into [his] own hands,” Kristina told him that she would be “misleading” him to continue with a relationship.
“I did not expect this to go this way,” Horstmann said.
On his way home, he told the camera, “Part of me thinks I deserve this. This is karma, you know?”
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