You helped me stand up to my aunt and get support for my elderly mum

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my 75-year-old mum, was in hospital following a heart attack, her sister, who is 73, blocked me from making any decisions.

She even agreed to a “do not resucitate” order for Mum without asking me.


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I am 37.

I thought Mum might die and that I wouldn’t get to say goodbye. It was breaking my heart.

But every time I tried talking to my aunt, it ended in a row. You encouraged me to tell her this was not acceptable and sent me your support pack Standing Up For Yourself.

You also told me to contact my mother’s GP and make her aware of what was happening.

And you suggested I contact Age UK (ageuk.org.uk) for advice and support. My aunt eventually agreed to include me in my mum’s care.

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Mum is now out of hospital and although she’s still very sick, I’m able to be with her.

Thank you for taking the time to help me. It means so much.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your aunt was probably scared, which made her unable to relinquish control.

It sounds like you have made real progress here. I am very happy for you both.

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