I’m a therapist and this is how to deal with a ‘mean girl’ in three steps and make her wish she never spoke to you
- Therapist shares three tricks for dealing with a ‘mean girl’
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A dating and relationship therapist has shared three psychological tips for dealing with a ‘mean girl’.
Dr Kimberly Moffit, who goes by Ask Kimberly online, said the tricks can be used on a person or ‘fake’ friend who is talking behind your back.
The therapist said to refrain from talking about the ‘mean girl’ to mutual friends, to put your anger for her aside and to have a one-on-one chat if all else fails.
Dr Kimberly said the techniques will have the ‘mean girls’ walking away ‘with her tail between her legs’ and ‘wishing she never spoke to you’.
‘Have you ever had to deal with a mean girl? Like nasty, talks behind your back or maybe she’s a friend who you know is not really rooting for you,’ the 40-year-old, from Canada, asked.
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Relationship therapist Dr Kimberly Moffit (pictured) has share three psychological tricks for dealing with a ‘mean girl’ who’s talking behind your back to ‘put them in their place’
She said she has three ways people can put a classic mean girl ‘in her place’ which she confessed is ‘the most satisfying thing in the world’.
‘What most people so when they find out a mean girl is bad mouthing them is they start going around and talking to their mutual fiends telling them that this girl isn’t really nice, she’s mean,’ Dr Kimberly explained.
‘It is really normal to want to share what this person’s true colours are so everybody knows what they’re really like but you’re not going to do that.’
Instead Dr Kimberly recommends keeping the woman’s name out of your mouth and not mention her at all.
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‘From a psychological perspective a girl actually lowers herself when she speaks badly of another girl, making her seem like the less attractive one,’ she said.
The relationship guru said her second trick is where most people fail as she suggests curbing your anger towards the person you suspect is talking behind your back.
‘When you have a mean girl in your life every (social media) post she makes is going to annoy the s*** out of you,’ she said.
‘The emotion of anger takes away you power and negotiation meaning that if you’re angry with her in future dealings, she’s already won.’
Thirdly, Dr Kimberly said to take the person away from their friends to have a one-on-one conversation to address the issue.
‘The reason mean girls are mean is that nobody around them is real with them. Her friends will tip toe around her, worried about what will happen if they upset her,’ she said.
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‘You are going to isolate the mean girl away from her friends and have a direct heartfelt one-on-one conversation. This will shock her because she’s not used to it and this is the point where she’ll usually back down.’
Dr Kimberly shared the hacks with her 2million TikTok followers in a video that amassed more than 642,600 times.
‘Yes! Actually I’m done with all the mean girls in my life. I already cancelled them out,’ one viewer said.
‘Really needed to hear this advice today,’ a second replied.
‘It all makes sense. Mean people hate outspoken people, truth tellers,’ a third wrote.
Others had their own tactics for dealing with nasty people with one woman saying: ‘I had a mean girl I worked with. I just backed off until everyone else saw it for themselves.’
‘No – you know why? Because I cut them off straight away and call them out,’ another added.
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