My wife and I stopped having sex then she left me for another woman

Now she’s confused about her sexuality.

We have been married for three years. I am 29, she’s 27.

We were soulmates and the sex was fantastic until she started having nightmares about being raped and abused by men.

Her uncle abused her when she was young, while her parents were unloving.

She said she loved me but sex made her feel dirty.

Then she developed this crush on a woman. I found flirty texts on her phone and though she said she’d end it, eventually she left me for her.

We still talk and she doesn’t want sex with her lover either.

DEIDRE SAYS: Her past will certainly have affected her sexual and emotional development – as it does for us all.

Maybe she feels safer with a female partner but it sounds like the abuse has affected her ability to enjoy any sexual relationship.

Urge her to contact the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (, 0808 801 0331) but don’t put your life on hold.

You may not be able to be more than good friends.

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