My lover promised me the world but is still with his wife 16 years on | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my lover promised a life in the country and lots of travel, I fell for him hook, line and sinker. But 16 years on I’m left in a tiny studio flat waiting for him to call.

I was a happily married woman of 34 when I took on a new job as a PA to a sales executive.

Listen to the NEW Dear Deidre podcast

Resident agony aunt Sally Land is taking The Sun’s legendary advice column from the page to podcast.

Each week, Sally will be joined by an expert and some of your favourite celebs to give helpful, entertaining advice to listener problems.

A brand new episode will be available every THURSDAY.

Listen HERE, or wherever you get your podcasts.

He was 40, charming — but married with two sons. My husband was 38 and an accountant. He was lovely but predictable, boring even.

My boss loved the richer things in life — nice cars, holidays abroad and designer labels.

I’d only been working for him for four months when we went away to review a hotel for a sales conference and he made a pass at me.

I know it was wrong but being near him, kissing him and having sex with him was the one thing I needed to bring some thrill to an otherwise dull existence.

He told me I was beautiful and noticed when I wore a different perfume. My husband wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow if I walked in the room naked. I said I was joining a good friend for nights out, all the while meeting my lover whenever I could for sex.

He said he’d leave his wife when the moment was right. Only it seems that moment has never arrived.

But I couldn’t wait. After another boring weekend, I told my devastated husband I was leaving and rented a studio flat. My lover still joins me for sex and always leaves a little gift.

But now I’m nearly 50 and my ex tragically passed away a year ago.

I’ve realised that I’ve wasted so much time on a relationship which has given me zero, other than the dream of a different life.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

My lover is still my boss. We don’t have sex so much these days. He’s just come back from a cruise with his wife.

I’m fed up and feel I’ve wasted so much time and hurt a very kind man in the process.

Most read in Dear Deidre


I've been married to wife for 30yrs & still can't get over her cheating on me


My boyfriend prioritises his friends over me whenever we go out together


I'm trying hard to lose weight but my partner constantly criticises my size


Our son is out of rehab but back to his old habits of drugs and drinking

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve had a tough time, yes, and cheating on your husband was never going to be the answer.

Now you are on a rollercoaster of emotions, raking over remorse, guilt, feeling let down and used, but most of all you’re grieving for a man you once loved.

Talk through your feelings with a bereavement counsellor at Sue Ryder (, 0808 164 4572), which offers six weeks’ free counselling.


Luca is head over heels for new girlfriend after meeting just a week ago

My boyfriend prioritises his friends over me whenever we go out together

It’s not too late to find love with somebody special.

My support pack, Your Lover Not Free, explains more about these dead-end relationships – but will also show you how to move on and kick-start your social life once more.

Source: Read Full Article