My husband expects far too much of me and I can’t cope with childcare

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband expects far too much of me and I can’t cope. I’m 37, and have two children aged three years and 18 months. I’m furloughed, while my husband, who is 39, goes out to work. 

In any argument he uses the fact that I’m off work and not contributing much against me. 


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He says he pays the mortgage and keeps a roof over our heads, so that should mean he is exempt from helping with the house and kids. 

Whenever I ask him for a hand, he tells me: “I’ve had a hard week at work, unlike you!” He’s even started trying to find ways for me to earn money from home. I’m exhausted and stressed, and I really can’t cope with much more.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I left, but I don’t want to separate my kids from their dad.

DEIDRE SAYS: Looking after young children and running a house is more than “contributing” and anyone who has done this knows how demanding these roles are.

Your husband is being unfair. He needs to know how you feel and that you are considering leaving.

He needs to agree to make changes, in attitude and behaviour.

My support packs Looking After Your Relationship and Standing Up For Yourself will help you talk to him.

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