My wife has known this woman since they were in their teens and they stayed friends after they left school. They are both 31 and I am 32.
My brother had a party for his 30th early last year. We had a babysitter for our five-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son.
Halfway through the evening she phoned to say that our son was poorly and was asking for his mum. My wife said she would go home but told me to stay.
After my wife left I was chatting to this friend of hers. She works with my brother so he had invited her to his party too.
We’d had a few drinks by then and started flirting. She said she had always fancied me.
In the end I went back to her place and we had sex. It was fantastic and we started an affair. My wife confronted me on Christmas Eve. I denied anything was going on but she said she been suspicious for a while.
She had checked my phone and found loads of intimate texts between me and her friend.
I broke up with her friend immediately but my wife was devastated and threw me out. She says she still loves me but she is really struggling to forgive me. I am desperate to win her back and have tried everything.
We have talked and agree that we want to do the best for our children. I love my wife and now know she and my kids are the only things I want.
My wife’s other friends have all had their say, of course. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle but I am still trying to prove to my wife that I am sorry and convince her to give me another chance.
Divorce would be hard for us both financially and bad for the children. I am trying to do everything I can to avoid that but my wife will not listen to me or agree to try.
The pace of life is so fast and the stress it creates all can undermine your health.
My Self-help For Stress leaflet explains how to cope.
For a copy, email me at [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t be surprised that your wife is very angry and very hurt. Her pain over your cheating is very strong right now but do not give up.
Carry on begging for another chance, telling her how much you love her and how sorry you are.
You have agreed that you both want to do the best for your children and that would be for their parents to be together and happy with each other.
Ask her to give the marriage just one more try, even if it is only for the sake of the children, at least to start with.
If you can persuade her to try again, my e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you start to heal the damage the affair has done.
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