My ex is in jail and my new man is kind — why can't I be happy with him?

We were together for four years. He’s 32 and I’m 29. It was great at the start – but we both enjoy drinking and that always led to violence.

My new bloke is 28. He’s kind and loving and has made me calmer. He doesn’t know I’m in touch with my ex and that we talk every day on the phone. My ex says he misses me loads and I’ve told him the same. My new guy is asking me if something is not right.

Why can’t I let my ex go?

DEIDRE SAYS: Are you used to a life of high drama and stress? That can be hard to live through yet gives you an adrenalin buzz and a high. Tell your ex you’re not good for one another.

Stop the phone calls and focus on the good man. Try a technique like mindfulness to help wean yourself off needing dangerous dramas to feel good.

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