‘Your dad is f****** asleep!’ Mother pens a hilarious poem to her baby daughter after repeatedly getting up for night feeds while her partner never stirs (and all new mums will relate)
- Caroline Olling Andersen penned the poem while up with her baby at 4am
- Complained of having to do the night feed while her husband continued to sleep
- The poem went viral receiving more than 22,000 likes and 16,000 shares
A first time mother has left fellow parents in stitches with a very candid poem that she wrote for her baby daughter.
Caroline Olling Andersen, who is originally from Denmark but lives in Dubai, shared her verse ‘Daddy’s Asleep’ on Facebook earlier this month.
In the rhyme she bemoans the fact that she is constantly getting up for the 4am feed while her partner, whom she has not named, slept through.
The poem quickly went viral, amassing 22,000 likes and 16,000 shares since it was posted.
Caroline Olling Andersen penned a hilarious poem to her baby daughter about getting up to do the night feed while her partner stays asleep
The hilarious poem begins: ‘I love your daddy, I really do, After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.
‘But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I. And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie: Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,Because no matter what, your dad is f***ing asleep! (sic)’
She goes on to detail her efforts while trying to stir her husband, to no avail.
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Caroline writes: ‘Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away. ‘What’s up love?’ He moans in a lovingly way. Your daddy has no clue he is under attack. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.
‘And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes. And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need. I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.’
She ends the poem writing: Soon you’ll grow up and be daddy’s little girl. You’ll not remember me cleaning up sh** and vomit hurl.Whilst you sit on his lap and he sings you a song, You’ll love him and think daddy could do nothing wrong.
‘But my sweet love, here is a poem for you to keep, So you know that all those long nights, dad was f***ing asleep!’
She shared the poem in which she bemoans getting up at 4am, on Facebook where it has received over 22,000 likes
Caroline has since described her partner as a ‘wonderful father’ after a few commenters berated him for not stepping up
The poem has been applauded by fellow parents who described Caroline’s writing as ‘hilarious’ and relatable.
Commenting on the piece one mother wrote: ‘Couldn’t have written it better myself!’
A second said: ‘Truer words never spoken!’ while a third commented: ‘So unbelievably TRUE!!!’
Speaking to BoredPanda, Caroline has since described her partner as a ‘wonderful father’ after a few commenters berated him for not stepping up.
She said: ‘Truth is, we made a deal during my pregnancy that I’d take the night shift, because I’ve been blessed with long maternity leave.
‘[This way,] he gets to sleep so he can be ready for his 10-12 hour day teaching 10-year-olds.
That said, tiredness will still cause you a lot of passive aggressive feelings in the early hours at night – hence my poem, which was written at 4 am on a particularly tiring night.’
Caroline has since started a blog The Mommy Poet where she has shared a second poem detailing what she had her daughter get up to while her husband is out.
CAROLINE’S POEM IN FULL
My latest 4am poem titled ‘Daddy’s Asleep’
I love your daddy, I really do,After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I. And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,Because no matter what, your dad is f***ing asleep!
It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight. We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there with a bottle or breastDaddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.
Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.Your daddy farts, rolls over and continues to snore.
Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!’I think she is hungry’ your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see? Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*** about me!
Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.’What’s up love?’ He moans in a lovingly way.Your daddy has no clue he is under attack. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back. And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.
But as the sun starts rising, the slate is wiped clear.I’m back to full love for your daddy and for you my dear.I forget that daddy sleeps while you cry and you poo.It’s back to kissing and hugging and doting on you.
Soon you’ll grow up and be daddy’s little girl. You’ll not remember me cleaning up s*** and vomit hurl.Whilst you sit on his lap and he sings you a song, You’ll love him and think daddy could do nothing wrong.But my sweet love, here is a poem for you to keep,So you know that all those long nights, dad was f***ing asleep!
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