I'm so hurt my best friend hasn't invited me to lunch on Christmas Day

DEAR DEIDRE: SHOULD I tell my best friend I’m hurt that she hasn’t invited me to lunch on Christmas Day?

My lovely husband died three years ago. The worst of my grieving is probably behind me but I still miss him so much.

The loneliness is overwhelming at times, especially in this climate.

My friend was a real lifesaver.

She helped me pack up to move house, and then once I’d settled, pitched in with the decorating.

I’m feeling down at the moment with Christmas around the corner and would have so liked to be invited for lunch.

My friend is married, but I’m sure my lack of an invitation has nothing to do with her husband.

Will I be risking our friendship if I say something?

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DEIDRE SAYS: If you think of it in terms of “rights” you are likely to hit a jarring note.

Reach out. Tell your friend you will be alone and ask if you can maybe visit, even if just for an hour or two.

Offer to bring a dish and bottle to help out.

Or you could find other ways to make good use of your time on the day.

There are ideas in my Worried About Christmas? e-leaflet.

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