DEAR DEIDRE: I GOT pregnant from a drunken one-night stand after an evening out with my friends.
But when I told my husband, he seemed cool about it instead of going mad at me.
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Is that because he just doesn’t care about me sexually any more?
I’ve never done anything like that before.
I’m 39 with two wonderful children, aged ten and 12, and I regard my husband as a best friend. He’s 43.
I went out after work with some colleagues during our first week back in the office after lockdown.
It coincided with the pubs opening, so a gang of us went out for a proper catch-up.
One of the guys hadn’t been working with us for long but he came along too.
He’s 32, single and all the girls fancied him. Me too, if I’m honest.
During the evening we started chatting. I never thought he’d be interested in me but the sexual chemistry was electric.
After a few glasses of wine I was flirting. He suggested we share a taxi home.
I knew what he had in mind but was drunk enough to accept.
He invited me in when we got to his and of course I went.
As soon as we’d had sex I felt full of regrets, though he’s a nice guy.
He called me a taxi and I went home.
My husband was asleep so didn’t ask me any questions.
I missed my period a couple of weeks later, did a test and it was positive.
I knew it wasn’t my husband’s as he’s had a vasectomy.
I was so shocked, I confided in my sister-in-law.
Big mistake as she said, if I didn’t tell my husband, she would.
topic4today
IT is normal for our sexual reactions to slow down a bit as we age.
But men often fear nothing can be done, when that is far from the case.
My e-leaflet Worried You’re Past It, Guys? explains.
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So I told him. He was shocked but supportive and understanding.
I’m having a termination and it’s all booked.
I’m always trying to keep my marriage alive by spicing up our sex life and booking weekends away with my husband, but it often seems boring and routine.
Is my husband’s reaction to my drunken mistake his way of telling me that we are just best friends?
DEIDRE SAYS: Or could it be that your husband realises that he doesn’t want to lose you over one much-regretted mistake?
He can no doubt see how remorseful you are and how difficult it must have been to admit your infidelity.
You could have paid a high price, including catching or passing on Covid-19, but at least your husband was willing to deal with it and move on.
You now have the best chance to put this behind you and talk to him about your relationship and how you are going to put this right together – and make it up to him.
If your sex life is flagging, my e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex is packed with ideas.
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