I found out that my son is gay and I have tried to accept it — but I can’t

DEAR DEIDRE: RECENTLY, I found out that my  son is gay and it feels like my heart has just gone from within me. I am his dad and I have tried to accept it – but  I can’t.

I heard he was gay about six months ago. When I confronted him and he answered, ‘Yes,’ I nearly hit him. He had to move out and is staying with my sister, who has told me that I should support him.

I am 51, he is 20, clever and kind. I know my wife loves him regardless but I feel ashamed and disgusted to think of my son with a man.

I have friends who are gay and I support gay rights – I just don’t want my son to be gay. I can’t sleep and I am very depressed.

I gave my son all the money I could afford and all the love I had to give but he now says I was controlling. Maybe I was but it was just to protect him.

I love him so much.

DEIDRE SAYS: This is hard for you both. It takes courage to come out as a gay. Hold on to the fact that he is still the same son that you have always loved and now he needs your support and respect.

Tell him you love him but you are struggling. FFLAG – Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – can help (fflag.org.uk, 0845 652 0311).

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