I feel unbearably guilty about moving out and leaving my widowed father behind

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM moving into a new home near my daughter’s school soon but feel unbearably guilty about leaving my dad.

He was with my mum for nearly 40 years before she died six months ago. I’m worried he’ll be lonely, as I’m leaving him at his most vulnerable time.

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I am a 34-year-old single mum. My daughter is 12.

I moved in with Dad after he lost Mum.

I’d just broken up with my daughter’s dad and needed somewhere to go for lockdown, so it suited us all.

Dad is in ill health and has been for years. He’s 72.

He has carers who come in a few times a day but he doesn’t go out and gets very lonely.

He is a very proud man but I feel so guilty about moving out.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure you feel torn but you can’t ignore your own needs and your daughter’s.

It’s self-defeating to carry guilt around.

Make positive plans. Visit as often as you can and make the time you spend together as meaningful as possible.

Zoom and FaceTime are great for bringing us all closer while apart. If he’s not online find help at AbilityNet (abilitynet.org.uk, 0800 048 7642).


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