DEAR DEIDRE: I CAUGHT my wife having sex with our neighbour’s teenage son.
I’m a man of 38 and my wife is 36. We’ve been married for two years but have lived together for five.
Our neighbours are in their fifties and we get on well. Their son is 19 and was always quiet. You’d barely get a nod from him.
He studied computers at college so, when my wife had problems with her laptop, I suggested that she ask him to look at it.
She came home after half an hour and said she’d left the laptop with him.
The following week he called her and she went round, presumably to pick it up.
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She was gone ages. She came back saying he still had things to do and though she looked a little flustered, I thought nothing of it.
Three nights later, my wife had a text from this lad to go around again. His parents were on holiday.
My neighbour had asked me to keep an eye on the house while they were away, so when my wife didn’t come back after an hour, I popped round just to check that everything was OK.
I let myself in through their garden gate but as I approached the house I was devastated.
I glanced into the lounge and saw my wife straddling our neighbours’ son on the sofa.
Horrified, I went back home and sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands.
My wife knew as soon as she walked in she’d been rumbled. She came up with all sorts of excuses.
The affair is over. We are trying to get our relationship back on track, but how can I trust her? She has completely humiliated me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If you are to recover from this betrayal, it will take some time.
Don’t underestimate how much of a shock it was to find your wife with this young man.
Talk to her again. Say you love her but want to find out why she was so attracted to someone else.
Ask how she feels about your life and sex life together and whether it’s fulfilling and fun.
Does she feel taken for granted?
If you both want to repair your marriage, she will have to work hard to regain trust and you must both be honest about the changes you need.
Listen carefully to her answers, as these will give you clues as to why she risked losing you.
My support pack, Cheating – Can You Get Over It?, will help you both.
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