DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife only wants sex when she’s had a few drinks. I wish we could have sober sex once in a while.
We are both 33. We have been married for eight years. We work full-time and have children aged four and two.
I do an equal share of the chores and childcare. Life is hectic for us both, but my wife only seems to unwind and relax after a few glasses.
I don’t think that she’s setting a great example to our children either.
I have tried everything to get her in the mood but only wine seems to work.
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She tells me I am good looking and how much she loves me, but it seems that sex isn’t a big deal to her unless she is plastered.
I want to get the spark back in our sex life without alcohol always having to be involved.
It is not a conversation I am relishing, but I need to talk to her about it.
DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe a few glasses of wine helps your wife feel more relaxed and lowers her inhibitions – most likely due to her upbringing. But I understand your concerns.
She may have lost her body confidence since having children.
Women want to feel desired so do let her know throughout the day how attracted to her you are and reassure her that you find her gorgeous.
My support pack Too Inhibited? will help you talk to her about this.
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