DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having great sex with an old friend from my schooldays but I feel so guilty as it isn’t fair on his girlfriend.
I am a woman of 24 and my friend is 25. We hadn’t kept in touch since school but he sent me a friend request on Facebook and we began chatting.
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There was definitely a spark between us and I enjoyed talking to him again, reminiscing about school and the people we knew.
He suggested we get together and we met for a drink.
He started flirting with me and I couldn’t resist — he is a very charming and good-looking guy. He ended up coming back with me and we had sex.
I was thrilled when he said he wanted to see me again. That was three months ago and we’ve been having sex regularly ever since.
He told me he has been with his girlfriend for two years. I only vaguely know her but she looks stunning in the photos I have seen on social media.
I couldn’t believe he was interested in me but he says she’s very self-centred.
I was out with a group of girlfriends a month ago and one of them was talking about my lover.
She said he was cheating on his girlfriend with a girl he works with and they had been spotted together in a bar in town.
Topic 4 today
SOMETIMES we fall in love so hard we’re blind to reason, or a relationship is damaging yet we cannot tear ourselves away.
Obsessive love usually follows an upbringing that left us needy, with low self-esteem.
My leaflet on Addictive Love can help you see if you need to break free.
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As soon as I could I had it out with him about what I had heard. He denied anything bad was going on.
He admitted he was out with this girl but insisted it was just work stuff they were talking about.
He reassured me that I was the only girl he had eyes for. He pleaded with me not to end our affair and against my better judgment I decided to give him one more chance.
I have been single for over a year and have missed regular sex.
Things were OK for a couple of weeks but then a friend told me that she had seen him in town with the same girl.
She said that his girlfriend has dumped him because she’d discovered he had been sleeping with this girl he works with.
I really want things to work out for us but I can’t put up with his lies.
His attitude towards me has been really off since I confronted him though I’m the one with the right to be upset. What should I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: He sounds like the type of guy who just doesn’t commit to any one woman.
He is an opportunist. He’s deceived you, leaving you feeling humiliated, but you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend – with you – and it’s not as if the two of you had built up a strong relationship.
Walk away. You are young with your whole life ahead of you.
You deserve to be number one in a man’s life so concentrate on improving your social life.
Take up some new interests and meet as many new people as you can.
That way you can find someone who is worthy of your love.
My e-leaflet Mend Your Broken Heart will help you to move on.
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