What you should NEVER assume about new mums: Weary mother details the parenting struggles ‘no one talks about’ as she returns to work
- An Aussie mum has detailed what new mums face when returning to work
- Mia gave context for scenarios many parents online seemed to relate to
- From being pressured back into your job too soon to feeling the ‘mum guilt’
- It shouldn’t be assumed all mums prefer work over being a stay-at-home parent
An Aussie mum has shared a glimpse into the challenges women face when transitioning back to work after having a baby.
In a detailed TikTok video, Mia explained how mums are faced with unexpected pressures upon returning to their full-time jobs.
‘Did you know your kids need you the most between the ages of zero and four? Yet most mums are forced to go back to work within the first year,’ she said in the clip.
Throughout the two-minute video, Mia gave context for scenarios many parents online seemed to relate to – from using your personal leave when your child is sick to feeling the ‘mum guilt’ after dropping your baby off at childcare.
Mia claims going back to work is ‘one of the hardest things about being a mum’, and it’s important to never assume women prefer to work rather than be a stay at home parent.
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In a detailed TikTok video, Aussie mum Mia (pictured) explained the pressure women experience upon returning to their full-time jobs after having a baby. Throughout the two-minute video, Mia gave context for scenarios many parents online seemed to relate to
‘You’ve got the pressure of going back to work for financial reasons; their job pressures them back in because once the maternity leave is up their job is on the line if they don’t come back,’ she said and titled the video ‘mum life’.
‘Skills start diminish and anxiety sets in when returning to work. There’s pressure from employers to work like we don’t have children are home.
‘And if we want to work part-time or have a flexible working agreement, you feel like a pain in the a**.’
Mia continued to explain how when the kids are sick mums ‘need to call in sick too’, resulting in less personal leave days.
‘We all know that day care centres are just a germ-fest, so they’re sick every second week and if you have a more than one kid it’s just like a ripple effect,’ she said.
And if a child is removed from childcare for a day or two, parents are still forked the bill – placing further stress on a family’s financial situation.
‘So you lose money from not being at work and then you pay day care fees even though they’re not there,’ Mia said.
‘Basically you’re just working to pay day care fees, and nine times out of 10 it’s not worth it.
‘But then you’re forced into working because that little bit extra that you are bringing in covers the electricity bill.’
Not only do parents need to cope with the financial burden of day care fees, mums also need to find strength emotionally to leave their crying babies with others during work hours (stock image)
Not only do parents need to cope with the financial burden of day care fees, mums also need to find strength emotionally to leave their crying babies with others during work hours.
Mia said: ‘The mum guilt is f*cking real and it plays on your mind every day. You drop your tiny little babies off at day care and they just scream for you and you’re supposed to walk out like everything’s okay.’
She goes on to claim that all day at work mums are constantly thinking about their children and how they’re going.
‘You have this internal dialogue as a mum that you want to be around adults and have adult conversations at work, but also just want to be at home with your babies all the time,’ she said.
The balancing act of working and parenting is a tricky tightrope millions of mums need to face, and many agreed mums shouldn’t need to be ‘forced’ to choose between the two (stock image)
For Mia, she needed to find a way to make money herself in order to spend more time with her kids, and so she started her own business ‘Casual Creators’ where she creates TikTok content for brands.
‘I’m grateful I was able to create my own business and I hope all mums can see they could do it too,’ she said.
But working for yourself, or not working at all, means less money goes towards superannuation for retirement.
How to overcome working ‘mum guilt’
Be gentle with yourself
Share your concerns with someone you trust
Get a good night’s sleep
Choose childcare that you feel comfortable with
Be honest at work about how your feeling
Give yourself time
The balancing act of working and parenting is a tricky tightrope millions of mums need to face, and many agreed mums shouldn’t need to be ‘forced’ to choose between the two.
Others online said for them there’s ‘no point’ returning to work because the childcare fees would outweigh their income.
‘So lucky my partner makes enough that I can care for our babies full time, it’s bullsh*t that not all mums can do it,’ one mum wrote in the comments of Mia’s video.
‘I’m taking five years off. it was a non negotiable for me and when I tell you everyone looks at me horrified like “the audacity” it makes me laugh,’ another added.
A third said: ‘The day care fees/sick leave issue is the whole reason I haven’t been able to go back to work as a single mum-of-two. We would be worse off if I worked.’
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