A MUM-of-three has has hit back at trolls who constantly say she's a bad mum, and call her lazy because of her relaxed approach to parenting.
But Amanda Melrose, 41, doesn't let the negative comments get to her, in fact, she admits that she is a lazy mum and isn't ashamed to say it.
The stay-at-home mum from Connecticut, USA,who has Peyton, six and 18-moth-old twins Willa and Trey, addressed the comments in a clip on her YouTube channel, called: "I'm a Lazy Mom and I'm Not Ashamed."
There she explained why she has decided to adopt a more "hands off approach" to motherhood, which often means letting her kids do whatever they want.
But Amanda, who shares parenting content on her blog Twenty Tiny Toes and TikTok with the same name,reckons that "lazy parenting isn't necessarily a bad thing" as it "encourages free thinking, independence and family harmony."
First things first, the self-confessed lazy mum expects her six-and-a-half-year-old daughter Peyton to help around the house, because, well, she's "just too lazy to do it all myself."
"Now that she's six-and-a-half she's learning to prepare some of her own foods," Amanda explains. "And if she makes a mess I'll encourage her to clean it herself too."
But the mum-of-three says it's "worth it" as her daughter will "learn" to do things for herself.
"We're a family, we're a team. It's not just mum having to take care of the whole family while the kids go crazy."
Amanda also makes Peyton clean up her own toys and put her dirty clothes in the laundry.
She continues: "I also expect help around the house when the kids are old enough so now that my daughter is six-and-a-half she can certainly clean up after herself.
"She can help me with dishes and laundry, simple meal preparations, putting groceries away – she's capable of helping."
But there's no chore chart in Amanda's household or rewards or stickers for getting tasks done because "I just expect her to help because she's part of this family."
Unlike most mums, this mum-of-three has no schedule either. Her kids all wake up and go to sleep whenever they want and eat when they're hungry.
"This way I avoid having to spend a total bunch of my life doing nap times and bedtimes," she explains.
We're a family, we're a team. It's not just mum having to take care of the whole family while the kids go crazy.
And while a pattern might naturally occur, this approach saves the hassle of trying to "force a schedule upon my family."
If the young babies wake up during the night, as they often do, she doesn't bother trying to sooth them back to sleep either.
Instead, Amanda simply pops them in her bed where they nod off so that she can get some shut eye too.
"I want to get my sleep and I get a lot more sleep that way. Some nights I have all three kids in bed with me, but that work for me," she explains.
What's more, she doesn't bother with potty or sleep training and simply lets her kids work it out on their own – as it's way "easier" in Amanda's opinion.
Instead she will just "wait until they show interest" – and for her eldest that was three-years-old.
She says: "There's no complicated reward systems, no punishments no taking them to the potty every time they need to go so they can get used to it – none of that."
Her twin babies are still too young to be toilet trained, but she will use this approach with them too as desperately trying to help them use the loo is way too much work.
Another thing Amanda doesn't want to do is worry about the dealing with the everyday stresses of schooling like most parents do.
That's why she decided not to send her six-year-old to school and instead they practice "unschooling".
Amanda stresses that her family still values education and learning, but this approach means it's child-directed, so it's guided by her daughter at home.
This makes Amanda's job way easier because she doesn't have the hassle of forcing her daughter to do anything she doesn't want to do.
Instead, they will visit museums and learn "all day long" without the formal system.
All of the many, many ways school can creep in and take over your life, it's not something I want to do. I guess I'm just a little too lazy to want to get involved in all that school requires.
"I feel that maybe I'm doing this because I'm lazy," she says.
"I think about real school, having to get up at a certain time every day and get my kids ready for school – either on the bus or driving them there – and making sure they've got their homework when they're older, meeting with teachers, going to parent teacher conferences.
"All of the many, many ways school can creep in and take over your life, it's not something I want to do. I guess I'm just a little too lazy to want to get involved in all that school requires."
One of the reasons Amanda was trolled on her TikTok page was for sharing a clip of her twin babies fighting – but she didn't step in to stop it.
People commented things like "he needs to be told no" and "this is horrible to watch, you just stood there and filmed it."
But the mum-of-three says she'd rather let her kids work things out themselves then have to step it herself.
Of course, if there's a risk of injury or danger Amanda will get involved, but if not, she simply lets them go.
She explains: "I don't get involved, I don't interfere. If they're arguing I let them work it out for themselves. I do the same with the twins – if they're fighting over a toy, I can not and will not interfere unless I'm actually needed."
When it comes to tantrums, something all parents dread, Amanda does her best to avoid them altogether.
And this means simply saying yes to everything her kids ask, rather than saying no.
Amanda reckons saying yes to things "makes everyone's life easier", and that "a lot of parents just throw out that no because that's what they're used to hearing."
So if the young tots request an extra snack or a treat while they're out and about, the answer is always yes.
Finally, Amanda considers herself a lazy mum because she doesn't provide her kids with "endless activities" and instead expects them to create their own fun.
"I don't suggest activities for my daughter, of course I take her places and of course I play with her, but if I'm doing something else around the house I expect her to figure out how to entertain herself."
"That may include screen time," she continues."Which is fine by me, but it doesn't always."
Amanda says it's "amazing" how "capable and creative kids can be" when you "step back from all the restrictive rules"
She tells her daughter that "boredom isn't a bad thing" and encourages her to figure out something "interesting" to do.
Follow Amanda on Instagram.
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