It feels so good I lie there, smiling, for a whole five minutes afterwards.
But I’m not in the arms of a boyfriend. I’m on the floor of a trendy North London studio with 20 other women — and we’ve all just climaxed from nothing but BREATHING.
Welcome to Secret Yoga Club’s Breath Orgasm workshop, a day devoted to putting me in touch with my orgasmic self.
The idea is to get off on oxygen alone — without so much as a kiss.
The women around me are mostly in their thirties, and a mixture of mums, lawyers, writers and teachers.
Dressed in comfy leisurewear, we perch on blue mats placed in a broad circle around our guide, sex therapist Carolyn Cowan.
With a shock of spiky grey hair and gold piercings, she seems ferocious at first, but as she describes “the exquisite, amazing way we can experience ourselves” through a breath-energy orgasm, she softens.
More than 40 per cent of British women have problems with their sexual function, and it’s clear Carolyn’s mission is to get them past the blocks that cripple enjoyment.
I am here to build on what I already know and like, and I assume most women here feel the same — although the ladies either side of me admit they “don’t think they’ve ever had an orgasm”.
Breath work like this relaxes muscles, calms the mind and boosts happy hormone production
We learn about the female arousal cycle, how a stressed body and mind are the enemy of the orgasm, and how the right breathing and yoga moves can prep your body for pleasure.
She shows us how to perform a “Sufi grind” of rolling the torso in a circle round the pelvis. We also learn Breath Of Fire, a technique of exhaling in short, forceful bursts through the nose.
Breath work like this relaxes muscles, calms the mind and boosts happy hormone production.
Looking around the room, our guru says: “Dare to be in your body. A breath orgasm is about all of you, it’s not necessarily a genital climax. This is about redefining arousal.
'Orgasm is all about trust'
“To be orgasmic is all about trust — do you trust yourself enough to let go?”
Sadly, many women don’t. We learn that porn and sex toys can hinder arousal, as they create a disconnect. We start to rely on their external stimulation and disappear off into fantasy or soulless physical release. Carolyn also covers how childbirth trauma and long-term relationships can crush arousal.
We learn the three-minute game. Ask your partner: “How would you like me to touch you for three minutes?” And then: “How would you like to touch me for three minutes?”
Carolyn explains this is a brilliant way to rekindle attraction and find out what you each really want in bed.
A tingling whoosh ignites my legs
She also suggests this handy solution to a libido mismatch. “If your partner is up for it but you’re not, say, ‘I’m not really in the mood for sex . . . but I’m open to persuasion. Maybe kiss my neck, or massage my feet’ and so on.”
After lunch, it’s back to the grindstone as Carolyn answers our too-scared-to-ask-out-loud sex questions, from a bowl on the floor.
Did you know the clitoris has double the nerve endings of a penis? Or that the cervix pulsates for 45 MINUTES after orgasm?
Less than an hour before the end of the workshop, we get to the big finale. We roll out our yoga mats and lie down.
Closing my eyes, I lie on my back with my knees raised and begin a powerful rhythm of breathing in and out through my mouth. As I do, I tilt my pelvis back and forth. Then I focus on my chest, pushing up and down with each breath on the diaphragm, and finally arching and lowering my neck and head.
All 20 women breathe as one, and the sound is both sensual and deafening as it picks up pace. Then, on Carolyn’s command, we suddenly stop, clenching our whole bodies tight and holding in a breath for 15 seconds. At her word, we gratefully let go and exhale.
A few seconds later, a tingling whoosh ignites my legs, chest and arms. The wash of pleasure feels so good, I arch my back as it comes and goes in pulsing waves.
It is like an orgasm but it feels weird that nothing is happening down below.
TRY AT HOME
Do gentle yoga.
Lie on back, knees raised, feet on floor.
Breathe in and out through mouth.
With each breath, tilt pelvis back and forth. After a minute, push diaphragm up and down.
After one minute, tilt upper chest and neck in time with breath. Then arch head with breath.
Hold breath for 15 secs and clench body.
Exhale and, er, hopefully enjoy.
We do the exercise again and this time I feel relaxed but little else. On the third release of breath, I feel a joyful band of energy pouring out from my chest.
By the fifth and final released breath, I just feel warm, sleepy and leaden. I barely breathe as the numbing, happy feelings course through me.
Slowly we sit up and begin to share our experiences. Linda — married for more than 30 years with not a whiff of a climax — is shaking from head to foot.
She looks overwhelmed that something so long denied her might finally be within her reach.
As for me, I feel liberated. Maybe I don’t have to rely on the quick-fix of a one-night stand. The key to bliss with no negative aftertaste could lie with this.
With that, I breathe a sigh of relief.
For more info, see secretyoga- club.co.uk . The Breath Orgasm workshop costs £135pp.
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